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How does understanding oneself enrich social relationships?

“Becoming self-aware of your thoughts and mind is like a kite gracefully dancing in the whispering wind.”

Imagine a solitary kite, its thread firmly anchored at its tip, evolving from the reel as it ascends. This kite, ourselves, slices through the wind, defying its currents, and revels in the boundless sky. In this quiet isolation, the kite experiences a deep sense of peace, becoming one with itself. It listens to its inner voice of happiness and contentment, fully aware of its emotions and actions as it dances gracefully above.

However, other kites soon appear in the sky, bringing unique rhythms, emotions, and presence. The once solitary kite now feels the stark difference in its surroundings. It wrestles with the challenge of adapting to this new environment, a struggle many of us can relate to. Influenced by the presence and behaviours of the other kites, it begins to alter its actions, views, and attitudes, shifting from self-awareness to an awareness centred on others. Its once joyful and peaceful state is disrupted, not because the other kites are undesirable, but because its focus has moved from internal harmony to external adjustment. This struggle reflects the challenges we face in maintaining self-awareness in social settings.

Consider a poignant example: learning about the death of an acquaintance. Alone, you might feel a certain sadness, but your reaction is measured. Yet, upon arriving at the deceased’s house and witnessing the collective grief, your emotions intensify. You start to cry, aligning your outward expression with the collective sorrow. This shift happens subconsciously, which often goes unnoticed, demonstrating how our awareness can be influenced by the emotions and actions of those around us.

The kites’ thread symbolizes our social groups’ interaction and actions and the events that shape our lives, while the reel is the source of our awareness. When we focus too much on others, we lose sight of ourselves. Conversely, maintaining a solid sense of self allows us to navigate social situations without losing genuineness. Just as the kite needs the proper tension in its thread to fly, we must balance our self-awareness and social interactions to navigate our social self effectively.

Understanding why we behave differently when alone versus with others is crucial. It is not just about a shift in awareness but recognizing that this shift often goes unnoticed. We continuously interact with ourselves and the world, but our awareness fluctuates between self and others. By becoming more self-aware and observing our thoughts and emotions, we can maintain our authenticity, even in social settings. This requires a conscious effort to observe and understand our reactions and behaviours in different social contexts.

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